A Paradox of Perspective

It is quite odd, if you think about it. How unimportant and how significant we are. I mean, speaking objectively, we really aren't that much of a difference. Just dust specks floating on a dust speck in the middle of a tiny patch of inestimably small dust specks. Quite depressing. And yet, if we were to zoom in a bit, we would see a myriad of changes; small ones making big ones, big ones making small ones. Big or small, important or unimportant, for better or for worse. Going on all the time, and every little twitch counts.

A paradox of perspective, really. It's particularly scary for people who are just starting off their lives, both armed with and weighed down with the knowledge that every little decision will make a huge impact on their futures, and yet, still be unable to make any real, deliberate change on a social level. What should I major in in college? What should I focus on in high school? What internship should I go for? What do I want to do with my life? It makes me want to crawl up into a fetal position every time I think about it.

And we are forced to make these sort of life changing decisions so early on not only due to the capitalist mindset of the workforce, but also by the sheer amount of humanity pressing in on all sides, shoving for the best job, the best house, the best medical care, the best retirement... You make the tiniest slip, the smallest of mistakes, and suddenly there are a dozen more likely candidates fighting over your position. It's like trying to balance on the edge of a knife, all the while having people take potshots at you. The pressure is probably the reason for the recent pandemic of depression.

I suppose there is only one way to stay sane. You can block it out. Push it down. Lock up all your insecurities an present to the world an iron facade. But that's only a temporary solution. Sooner or later, the pressure get too much, and *pop*. And all the while you have that darker corner of your mind whispering in your ear;  You don't really matter, you never will...